Pornography Appreciation / Sexual curiousities / etc topic

Started by FreakAnimalFinland, December 13, 2009, 09:55:35 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

cutter



david lloyd jones



Deadpriest

My book of poetry: http://www.histergrant.com/

oOoOoOo

I hate it when people ask me what kind of porn I'm into. Like honestly, I used to just answer that question if I were online, but it's so fucking awkward. My life sucks. There's no way to just avoid the question without being prudish, idk why everyone in our society is so fucking boring, they don't expect you to be into anything. I knew a guy in a chat room once who was so timid and shy about revealing the fact that he was into chastity, like those little cages you put around your dick. It just sort of pisses me off, that we live in such a stupid society; what other way is there to describe that sort of thing besides stupid? It's certainly not tolerable, because it makes my life worse. What does it even mean to tolerate something? To just take the pain of it and be quiet and not talk about it? Well, in that case I guess I have failed at tolerating the stupidity and I guess, if I could use more superficial words in my already pathetic tirade - lameness of society.


Fluid Fetish

Quote from: oOoOoOo on July 08, 2016, 11:19:10 PM
I hate it when people ask me what kind of porn I'm into. Like honestly, I used to just answer that question if I were online, but it's so fucking awkward. My life sucks. There's no way to just avoid the question without being prudish, idk why everyone in our society is so fucking boring, they don't expect you to be into anything. I knew a guy in a chat room once who was so timid and shy about revealing the fact that he was into chastity, like those little cages you put around your dick. It just sort of pisses me off, that we live in such a stupid society; what other way is there to describe that sort of thing besides stupid? It's certainly not tolerable, because it makes my life worse. What does it even mean to tolerate something? To just take the pain of it and be quiet and not talk about it? Well, in that case I guess I have failed at tolerating the stupidity and I guess, if I could use more superficial words in my already pathetic tirade - lameness of society.

I was always amused by the fact that people are ashamed of what gets them off. It makes sense in certain parts of the world, like in the US everyone is sexually repressed or prudish....it's ok to watch people being killed but sex is still taboo etc. I have a friend who used to have a boyfriend who liked being fucked in the ass with a dildo by her, and apparently this guy was so ashamed of it. I mean, he was Mr. Tough Guy ex-drug dealer gangster so that makes sense. One of my favorite stories of the whole experience was her going in to purchase the strap on and his tough guy gangsta ass had to sit in the car because he refused to go in and pick it out with her. Personally, if a dildo was going in my ass, I'd slap that fucker down on the table and ask the clerk if he's ever tried it before because this thing is going way up my ass. I'm an asswipe though (no pun intended). I told her that for a lot of people I think hiding, repressing or being ashamed of their sexuality is part of what gets them off. Could be the case with some of your experiences.

oOoOoOo

Quote from: Fluid Fetish on July 09, 2016, 12:04:39 AM
Quote from: oOoOoOo on July 08, 2016, 11:19:10 PM
I hate it when people ask me what kind of porn I'm into. Like honestly, I used to just answer that question if I were online, but it's so fucking awkward. My life sucks. There's no way to just avoid the question without being prudish, idk why everyone in our society is so fucking boring, they don't expect you to be into anything. I knew a guy in a chat room once who was so timid and shy about revealing the fact that he was into chastity, like those little cages you put around your dick. It just sort of pisses me off, that we live in such a stupid society; what other way is there to describe that sort of thing besides stupid? It's certainly not tolerable, because it makes my life worse. What does it even mean to tolerate something? To just take the pain of it and be quiet and not talk about it? Well, in that case I guess I have failed at tolerating the stupidity and I guess, if I could use more superficial words in my already pathetic tirade - lameness of society.

I was always amused by the fact that people are ashamed of what gets them off. It makes sense in certain parts of the world, like in the US everyone is sexually repressed or prudish....it's ok to watch people being killed but sex is still taboo etc. I have a friend who used to have a boyfriend who liked being fucked in the ass with a dildo by her, and apparently this guy was so ashamed of it. I mean, he was Mr. Tough Guy ex-drug dealer gangster so that makes sense. One of my favorite stories of the whole experience was her going in to purchase the strap on and his tough guy gangsta ass had to sit in the car because he refused to go in and pick it out with her. Personally, if a dildo was going in my ass, I'd slap that fucker down on the table and ask the clerk if he's ever tried it before because this thing is going way up my ass. I'm an asswipe though (no pun intended). I told her that for a lot of people I think hiding, repressing or being ashamed of their sexuality is part of what gets them off. Could be the case with some of your experiences.
LOL. Well, I certainly believe that masculinity can be used as a cover for a tough guy facade, there is an insecurity about men, that they feel threatened by femininity. That sickens me, I think that the masculinization of our culture is hillbilly nonsense.

It may be a turn on for some, but I definitely don't feel happy repressing my sexuality. In fact, I often feel sort of traumatized by it, and I mean that in a very literal sense. I've felt so embarrassed in moments of my life, that I keep reliving those moments whenever I am reminded of them, and it's not that they're anything truly noteworthy. One time I punched a wall at my parent's house and was sent to a mental hospital, where I proceeded to tell people I wish I was a woman for no reason other than to see what they said, and was telling my assigned doctor I wanted to have some of the diapers that they had in the storage room because that was my fetish, and I told some student nurses that when they were on duty and come to visit and talk with patients to get job experience. A couple of them were so put off, and a couple of them were strangely accepting and what not. To this day I feel so embarrassed by that, I have been putting off telling my psychologist who I have known for a year and a half now, because the thought alone is too embarrassing for me to feel comfortable sharing it even with her. I feel I can bring it up here though, because it seems people here seem to not feel offended by this sort of thing.

Those experiences alone have caused me so much grief, none the less how uncomfortable I feel eyeing men. I remember I made such a desperate and shy and awkward approach on this emo guy in college, I was sweating (and 20 pounds heavier than I am right now, sadly) and he avoided me for the rest of the year. That experience also traumatized me, it's another thing which I relive to an uncomfortable level of shame whenever I'm reminded of it, sometimes. I'm not feeling uncomfortable recalling the experiences right now though, because they seem to only be triggered by feelings of embarrassment that are similar to that of when I first felt them. The brain is sort of weird in that respect, I suppose. Not to mention, there's not one time where I ever felt stimulated by the thought of doing these things, or the recollection of them. If anything, some times I just get so fed up of disguising my true thoughts, that I seem to let myself go in moments where I feel that it's inconsequential. I guess I'm silly in that regard.

I maintain that I'm not a lunatic, regardless of the fact that I was sent to a mental hospital. I was very depressed at the time, extremely depressed, and my parents none the less called the police on me when I punched at hole in the wall in a yelling match with them. This is all ancient history though, and I only use it as an example because it seems relevant to what you said about me possibly getting turned on by repressing my thoughts. I think that as a society, people are very repressed, I know that I certainly feel repressed as hell, I know that I've known a lot of other people who feel repressed and sad about the society that they live in. I feel like I'm trying to grasp for something more right now, but I don't think I can really come to that bigger grasp at the moment.

Another time I was in Colorado, this was just the beginning of last year. I brought one diaper on the vacation trip with me, and my dildo, and I remember that I was trying weed for the second time, and I did two hits and it made me feel sort of freaked out. So I decided to wear that diaper I brought for comfort, and ended up peeing in it a little. I put it in the freezer until the end of my trip from colorado, in which I wanted to go outside with it and find a dumpster, because I couldn't imagine leaving it in the waste basket at the hotel where I stayed which was so shallow. I walked around with it outside for a while, in very early morning with it inside a box, I think. All of the fucking dumpsters and trash cans were locked at night, which seems absurd to me; people being so protective over their fucking trash cans. So, I ended up being taken to the airport by the person who was looking after me in colorado, and I wanted to get them the fuck away from me, so I could finally dispose of that piece of trash I was trying to get rid of. They fucking wouldn't go the fuck away, and I watched as the airline safety inspectors in this small airline inspected my bag with that person watching me. It was fucking soul crushing, reimagining it sort of makes me feel like shit.

Except, something I've learned is that if you want depression to go away, you have to let go of whatever it is that is upsetting you. If I say, wish that I had a boyfriend, or wished that I lived in a world that was understanding, a world where I got along with others and others understood me, and I didn't feel like I was a pathetic whining basket case (which let's be clear, that's exactly what I am right now. I loathe the fact that I'm bitching about this again) - I am setting myself up for feeling like shit. It's something that I guess you just have to learn to let go, I have spent many a days feeling so sorry for myself, it is like an all consuming grief, that sometimes saps up so much of you that you're left feeling absolutely nothing left; which again is a bit of a melodramatic soap box for me right now, because at the current moment I feel very calm and cool and not consumed by any sort of grief. That is what living alone for a year and a half can do for you, I suppose. Lets you collect yourself and gets you out of the basket case mentality that you formed from living with your parents and spending 12 years of your life in school, which I consider pretty much to be a sort of prison camp.

So, if there's anything that I'm really trying to get at, something that I am trying to reach the core of right now, it's that yes our society is very repressed, and I wish that there was some way that I could live in a world where I didn't have to feel like garbage; lonely, forsaken garbage, unloved, annoying, pathetic garbage. I don't think I'm so pathetic right now actually, I don't mean to sound that deprecating, I just hope that I'm not coming off as melodramatic. However, I want to be earnest about my strong feelings of my resentment for society, I am serious about that. Also, I'm not transsexual.

Fluid Fetish

Quote from: oOoOoOo on July 09, 2016, 12:54:28 AM
Quote from: Fluid Fetish on July 09, 2016, 12:04:39 AM
Quote from: oOoOoOo on July 08, 2016, 11:19:10 PM
I hate it when people ask me what kind of porn I'm into. Like honestly, I used to just answer that question if I were online, but it's so fucking awkward. My life sucks. There's no way to just avoid the question without being prudish, idk why everyone in our society is so fucking boring, they don't expect you to be into anything. I knew a guy in a chat room once who was so timid and shy about revealing the fact that he was into chastity, like those little cages you put around your dick. It just sort of pisses me off, that we live in such a stupid society; what other way is there to describe that sort of thing besides stupid? It's certainly not tolerable, because it makes my life worse. What does it even mean to tolerate something? To just take the pain of it and be quiet and not talk about it? Well, in that case I guess I have failed at tolerating the stupidity and I guess, if I could use more superficial words in my already pathetic tirade - lameness of society.

I was always amused by the fact that people are ashamed of what gets them off. It makes sense in certain parts of the world, like in the US everyone is sexually repressed or prudish....it's ok to watch people being killed but sex is still taboo etc. I have a friend who used to have a boyfriend who liked being fucked in the ass with a dildo by her, and apparently this guy was so ashamed of it. I mean, he was Mr. Tough Guy ex-drug dealer gangster so that makes sense. One of my favorite stories of the whole experience was her going in to purchase the strap on and his tough guy gangsta ass had to sit in the car because he refused to go in and pick it out with her. Personally, if a dildo was going in my ass, I'd slap that fucker down on the table and ask the clerk if he's ever tried it before because this thing is going way up my ass. I'm an asswipe though (no pun intended). I told her that for a lot of people I think hiding, repressing or being ashamed of their sexuality is part of what gets them off. Could be the case with some of your experiences.
LOL. Well, I certainly believe that masculinity can be used as a cover for a tough guy facade, there is an insecurity about men, that they feel threatened by femininity. That sickens me, I think that the masculinization of our culture is hillbilly nonsense.

It may be a turn on for some, but I definitely don't feel happy repressing my sexuality. In fact, I often feel sort of traumatized by it, and I mean that in a very literal sense. I've felt so embarrassed in moments of my life, that I keep reliving those moments whenever I am reminded of them, and it's not that they're anything truly noteworthy. One time I punched a wall at my parent's house and was sent to a mental hospital, where I proceeded to tell people I wish I was a woman for no reason other than to see what they said, and was telling my assigned doctor I wanted to have some of the diapers that they had in the storage room because that was my fetish, and I told some student nurses that when they were on duty and come to visit and talk with patients to get job experience. A couple of them were so put off, and a couple of them were strangely accepting and what not. To this day I feel so embarrassed by that, I have been putting off telling my psychologist who I have known for a year and a half now, because the thought alone is too embarrassing for me to feel comfortable sharing it even with her. I feel I can bring it up here though, because it seems people here seem to not feel offended by this sort of thing.

Those experiences alone have caused me so much grief, none the less how uncomfortable I feel eyeing men. I remember I made such a desperate and shy and awkward approach on this emo guy in college, I was sweating (and 20 pounds heavier than I am right now, sadly) and he avoided me for the rest of the year. That experience also traumatized me, it's another thing which I relive to an uncomfortable level of shame whenever I'm reminded of it, sometimes. I'm not feeling uncomfortable recalling the experiences right now though, because they seem to only be triggered by feelings of embarrassment that are similar to that of when I first felt them. The brain is sort of weird in that respect, I suppose. Not to mention, there's not one time where I ever felt stimulated by the thought of doing these things, or the recollection of them. If anything, some times I just get so fed up of disguising my true thoughts, that I seem to let myself go in moments where I feel that it's inconsequential. I guess I'm silly in that regard.

I maintain that I'm not a lunatic, regardless of the fact that I was sent to a mental hospital. I was very depressed at the time, extremely depressed, and my parents none the less called the police on me when I punched at hole in the wall in a yelling match with them. This is all ancient history though, and I only use it as an example because it seems relevant to what you said about me possibly getting turned on by repressing my thoughts. I think that as a society, people are very repressed, I know that I certainly feel repressed as hell, I know that I've known a lot of other people who feel repressed and sad about the society that they live in. I feel like I'm trying to grasp for something more right now, but I don't think I can really come to that bigger grasp at the moment.

Another time I was in Colorado, this was just the beginning of last year. I brought one diaper on the vacation trip with me, and my dildo, and I remember that I was trying weed for the second time, and I did two hits and it made me feel sort of freaked out. So I decided to wear that diaper I brought for comfort, and ended up peeing in it a little. I put it in the freezer until the end of my trip from colorado, in which I wanted to go outside with it and find a dumpster, because I couldn't imagine leaving it in the waste basket at the hotel where I stayed which was so shallow. I walked around with it outside for a while, in very early morning with it inside a box, I think. All of the fucking dumpsters and trash cans were locked at night, which seems absurd to me; people being so protective over their fucking trash cans. So, I ended up being taken to the airport by the person who was looking after me in colorado, and I wanted to get them the fuck away from me, so I could finally dispose of that piece of trash I was trying to get rid of. They fucking wouldn't go the fuck away, and I watched as the airline safety inspectors in this small airline inspected my bag with that person watching me. It was fucking soul crushing, reimagining it sort of makes me feel like shit.

Except, something I've learned is that if you want depression to go away, you have to let go of whatever it is that is upsetting you. If I say, wish that I had a boyfriend, or wished that I lived in a world that was understanding, a world where I got along with others and others understood me, and I didn't feel like I was a pathetic whining basket case (which let's be clear, that's exactly what I am right now. I loathe the fact that I'm bitching about this again) - I am setting myself up for feeling like shit. It's something that I guess you just have to learn to let go, I have spent many a days feeling so sorry for myself, it is like an all consuming grief, that sometimes saps up so much of you that you're left feeling absolutely nothing left; which again is a bit of a melodramatic soap box for me right now, because at the current moment I feel very calm and cool and not consumed by any sort of grief. That is what living alone for a year and a half can do for you, I suppose. Lets you collect yourself and gets you out of the basket case mentality that you formed from living with your parents and spending 12 years of your life in school, which I consider pretty much to be a sort of prison camp.

So, if there's anything that I'm really trying to get at, something that I am trying to reach the core of right now, it's that yes our society is very repressed, and I wish that there was some way that I could live in a world where I didn't have to feel like garbage; lonely, forsaken garbage, unloved, annoying, pathetic garbage. I don't think I'm so pathetic right now actually, I don't mean to sound that deprecating, I just hope that I'm not coming off as melodramatic. However, I want to be earnest about my strong feelings of my resentment for society, I am serious about that. Also, I'm not transsexual.

You're an interesting person good sir. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with being eccentric or having deviant sexuality in any way. Flaunting it and repressing it is definitely not the way to go, but just because you are into diapers, are gay, had a spell of hysteria and punched a wall and then told a bunch of doctors you're a transexual, that's nothing to be ashamed of or worry about. I mean, nothing personal but I can tell you're young and you spend a lot of time alone (I'm not that old and spend a lot of time alone myself so no judgment there haha) and there is MUCH worse that can happen and WILL happen to you in life. That sounds condescending probably but I don't mean it that way.

Making an ass out of yourself intentionally or unintentionally is apart of life. Being alone and depressed is apart of life. There's no use in dwelling on it and fiending over how terrible experiences are, embrace them, let them break down your ego, remember you're going to be fucking dead some day. You don't have to go through life denying your impulses or hiding your true thoughts unless you want to have a breakdown or a mental collapse of some kind, it's how you deal with them. Everyone has approached the opposite or the same sex and made a fool out of themselves, it sucks, you learn from it and try harder next time. Humiliating yourself keeps your pride and sense of self in check any way, keeps you humble hahah. Let it go like you said. Plus as a species humanity is insane, so I'd say you're probably a lunatic, we need more of that I think in the world anyways. Regret and shame are useless emotions anyway.

This closes out my Fluid Fetish therapy session haha, best of luck to ya, I find your weird posts interesting and amusing at least.

Also I currently live in Colorado so I'm glad that you probably exposed the DIA security to your partially used diaper it sounds like from your story haha, good work.

oOoOoOo

LOL. Thank you for the thoughtful words, they're reassuring.

oOoOoOo

Quote from: theotherjohn on July 09, 2016, 02:01:02 PM
I remember 10+ years ago discovering a website where you could sign up to get free promotional items (usually from medical companies or organisations) sent to your address by giving them your details - back then I'd troll and request, say, 500 pens to be sent to my address or 200 Breast Awareness Week posters or some other swag I didn't actually need (I still get newsletters every so often for diabetes in older adults). I remember once being sent a free nappy from an organisation supporting men who suffer from incontinence - never had the (ahem) guts to use it though, I just sent off for it for the (cough) shits and giggles. Anyway, maybe try finding yourself a nice gentlemen who suffers from bowel incontinence? Or work/volunteer in a nursing home? There must be forums/networks out there for you to fuel your perversions or turn your/their negatives into a positive...
Well, no. Bowel incontinence is not attractive, and neither are nursing homes by any stretch of the imagination. I like attractive guys, there's not really anything else to it.

oOoOoOo

I should also point out that there's a fine line between cute, and utterly repulsive in the field of porn that I like. Most of the time I try to avoid looking too long at the more disgusting thumb nails of the porn sites I visit. It's a strange thing, that it straddles the line so thin for me. I actually am not impervious to being grossed out, a lot of things do gross me out. Like, I don't like it when people fart around me, I think that's disgusting. However, as I said in my very first post which some of you may have missed, I think it mostly depends for me on how cute the guy is who's being disgusting.

tiny_tove

Quote from: oOoOoOo on July 09, 2016, 03:44:10 PM
I don't like it when people fart around me,

I wonder who, apart from scat fans, actually likes farts
CALIGULA031 - WERTHAM - FORESTA DI FERRO
instagram: @ANTICITIZEN
http://elettronicaradicale.bandcamp.com
telegram for updated list: https://t.me/+03nSMe2c6AFmMTk0

cutter

Quote from: theotherjohn on July 10, 2016, 12:13:16 AM


it looks like a snapshot from "popular" porn (mostly by memes) with that grandpa... but i'm not sure